Do I Have to Use OurFamilyWizard? (Court-Ordered or Not)

The Short Answer: It Depends on Whether a Court Order Names It

You have to use OurFamilyWizard if a signed court orderrequires you to communicate through it. Not a proposed order, not a letter from your co-parent's attorney, not a text saying "my lawyer says we have to" — an order with a judge's signature on it. If no order says so, you are not legally required to use OurFamilyWizard, and nobody can make you pay for it. Your co-parent's preference doesn't create an obligation, and neither does the fact that you used the app voluntarily for a while and then stopped.

That said, "not required" and "safe to refuse" are different questions. Family courts have broad authority over how parents communicate about their children, and courts in many states will order a paid co-parenting app when the judge finds it serves the child and both parents can reasonably afford it — though practice varies by state and by judge. If your co-parent files a motion asking for one, the judge will want to know why you've been refusing. So the practical answer: read the order carefully, follow it if it names the app, and if the cost or terms are a problem, raise that through the court — in writing, early — rather than by going quiet.

Three Situations, Three Different Answers

Almost every version of this question comes down to which of these you are in. Pull out the order (or the proposed order) and check the exact words.

1. OurFamilyWizard is named in your order.Language like "the parties shall communicate regarding the minor children through OurFamilyWizard" means exactly that. You must create an account, pay for it (or apply for a fee waiver), and use it for whatever communication the order covers. Moving the conversation back to text — even if your co-parent goes along with it — can be treated as non-compliance, depending on how broadly the order is written, and it is the kind of thing that comes up at the next hearing.
2. The order requires a co-parenting app but doesn't name one. Some orders say the parties shall use "a co-parenting communication application" or "a platform such as OurFamilyWizard or TalkingParents." Here you must use anapp, but you may have a choice of which. "Such as" usually signals examples; "shall use OurFamilyWizard" signals one option. If the wording is ambiguous and you and your co-parent can't agree, ask your attorney or the court to clarify. Don't assume the ambiguity favors you.
3. There is no order.Then the answer to "do I have to use OurFamilyWizard" is no. You can agree to it, propose something cheaper, or keep texting. What you can't do is treat "no order" as "no record" — more on that below.

One thing that trips people up: a mediated agreement or signed stipulation becomes an order once the judge adopts it. If you agreed to OurFamilyWizard in mediation, you are in situation one.

Can a Court Really Order a Paid App? And Who Pays?

Generally yes. Courts have broad authority over how parents communicate about their children, and many will require a specific platform. Courts also routinely order parents to pay for commercial services in custody matters — supervised-visitation centers, parenting classes, custody evaluators — so the objection that a co-parenting app is somebody's product does not usually carry much weight on its own. As a general matter, an obligation starts when the order does, not before, but whether that holds in your case is a question for your attorney. Whether your judge will order the app at all depends on your state, your court, and your facts.

Who pays is written into the order. A common formulation makes each parent responsible for their own subscription — something along the lines of "each party shall be responsible for payment of his or her own membership fee or shall apply for a fee waiver" — but orders vary, so read yours. Some orders split the cost differently, and some assign both accounts to one parent, typically where there is a large income gap or one parent requested the app over the other's objection. If the order is silent on cost, the working assumption is that each parent pays for their own account — but that varies by state and judge, so if your order doesn't say, ask.

What It Actually Costs: Two Accounts, Two Bills

The part that surprises parents is that OurFamilyWizard is priced per parent. Each parent needs a separate account, and each account has its own subscription. There is no household or family plan, so the real cost of OurFamilyWizard for two parents is roughly double whatever number you saw.

As of September 2026, OurFamilyWizard's own pricing page lists an entry plan at $110 per year, an Essentials plan at $149.99 per year, and a Premium plan at $216 per year, with a higher Max tier above that — all billed annually, per parent, and all discounted from the monthly list rate, so check the current page for what you would actually pay. Two parents on the entry plan are paying about $220 a year combined; two on Essentials, about $300; two on Premium, about $432. OurFamilyWizard advertises a 30-day money-back window on a first-time subscription, but only when you buy directly on its website — App Store and Google Play purchases have to go through Apple or Google, and renewals and upgrades aren't covered, so check the current refund policy before you pay. At entry tier, TalkingParents (about $7 per month per parent as of September 2026) and AppClose (about $8 per month) cost less than OurFamilyWizard's $110-a-year plan, but their upper tiers run higher than OurFamilyWizard's lower ones, and every one of these plans changes often — so price the specific tier you would actually be on, on each company's current page. The same caveat applies to the table in our OurFamilyWizard alternatives comparison.

Fee waivers.OurFamilyWizard runs a fee-waiver program for parents who can't afford a subscription. The categories it describes generally cover parents receiving public assistance, parents represented by legal aid, and survivors of domestic violence with a letter from an advocate; the exact criteria and paperwork live on its fee-waiver page and can change. Apply early — if your order says "or apply for a fee waiver," an application in progress is a far better position than a lapsed account.

Your Co-Parent Wants OFW and You Don't (or the Reverse)

If your co-parent is asking and there's no order:you can say no, but say it in writing and say why. "I can't take on another subscription right now, but I'll keep everything about the kids in one text thread and reply within 24 hours" reads very differently to a judge than silence or a flat refusal. Consider counter-proposing a cheaper platform or a simple written protocol. If they escalate to a motion, the judge decides — and your reasonable written response is part of what the judge sees.

If you want OFW and your co-parent refuses: you can ask the court. Be ready to explain the problem the app solves — hostile texts, disputed exchanges, missed calls — and to show it. That evidence is usually your existing text and call history, which is why it pays to have it organized before you file; our guide to printing text messages for court covers the mechanics.

If the order exists and your co-parent won't use the app: keep using it yourself, note their non-use, copy any off-channel messages into the app, and raise it with your attorney. Their non-compliance does not excuse yours.

If the Cost Is a Hardship

An ordered subscription you genuinely can't afford is a real problem with real solutions — every one of which runs through the court, not around it.

• Apply for the fee waiver first. It costs nothing to ask, and it is the remedy most orders already anticipate.
• Check the tier. Most orders require OurFamilyWizard, not a specific plan. Unless yours names a tier, the entry plan usually satisfies it.
• Propose an alternative in writing. If your co-parent will agree to a cheaper platform, a stipulation signed by both of you and submitted to the judge changes the order cleanly.
• Ask the court to modify. If they won't agree, a motion showing your finances can ask the judge to reallocate the cost or substitute a platform. How receptive judges are varies a lot.
• Never switch or stop unilaterally. Letting the subscription lapse because it's expensive can be treated as non-compliance with the order. A judge may be sympathetic to the hardship and still unhappy with the unilateral move.

What the Order Does Not Change: Your Existing Texts and Calls Are Still Evidence

An order to use OurFamilyWizard starts the clock on a new record. It does not erase, replace, or import the old one. Nothing you texted, called, or FaceTimed before the order enters the app — the major platforms record only what happens on the platform, starting when both parents join, and no tier of OurFamilyWizard, TalkingParents, or AppClose imports the history that came before. If your case turns on what happened last year — the missed calls, the exchange that went wrong, the thread where an agreement was made and broken — that evidence is still on your phone, in a backup of it, and, if you have one, on a Mac that syncs with the phone, and it is still yours to produce. We go deeper in can I use text messages instead of OurFamilyWizard.

That before-the-order record is what Exhibit A is for. It reads the call-history and message databases and turns them into a court-formatted PDF exhibit: a color-coded calendar of communication by day, followed by per-day call and message logs. There are two builds. The free Mac app (macOS 12 or later) reads the call history and iMessages that live on the Mac itself, for the period the Mac was syncing with your Apple ID — no backup involved. The browser version at getexhibita.com/appruns on Windows or any computer and reads a local iPhone backup instead: make the backup with iTunes or the Apple Devices app on Windows (or Finder on a Mac), ticking "Encrypt local backup" if you want the call log as well as the messages, then point the browser at that folder. Either way the data is parsed on your own computer, nothing is uploaded, and there is no account.

One thing to get right, and it matters for the call log specifically. Apple's own support documentation on encrypted backups lists call history among the categories recent versions of iOS write only to an encryptedbackup, so an unencrypted backup carries your messages and no calls. The browser version reads both kinds: given an encrypted backup it asks for the backup password and decrypts the databases inside the browser tab on your own computer; given an unencrypted one it builds the message exhibit and tells you there is no call log in the file. Write that backup password down, because nobody can recover it, Apple included. If you would rather not deal with one, a Mac signed into your Apple ID and your carrier's records are the other routes to a call log. The free tier produces the full exhibit with a watermark, so you can see what came through before paying; paid plans start at a $39 one-time Case Pass covering 90 days, with a 30-day money-back guarantee. Exhibit A is not a substitute for a court-ordered platform, and whether any exhibit is admitted is up to your judge. It is a way to bring the record from before the order into the room.

How Long Do You Have to Keep Using It?

As long as the order says — and many orders don't set an end date. An open-ended requirement lasts until the order is modified or the underlying custody order ends. When that is depends on your state — the age of majority, high-school graduation, and provisions for a child with disabilities all vary — so check your own order and your state's rule rather than assuming a date. Some orders tie it to a review hearing or a fixed period, such as twelve months after which the parties may agree in writing to discontinue. If both parents want out, a signed stipulation modifying the order is the clean exit; if only one does, it takes a motion. Quietly letting the subscription lapse is not an exit; it's non-compliance waiting to be noticed.

Follow the Order, and Keep Your Own Copy of Everything

Two rules cover most of this. First, follow the order as written. The fastest way to lose credibility with a judge is to be the parent who decided which parts of the order applied. Second, keep your own copy of everything: export your OurFamilyWizard records periodically rather than assuming they will always be a login away, preserve the pre-order history now — back up the iPhone for the message record — encrypted, if you want the call log to come with it, since recent versions of iOS write call history only to an encrypted backup — and if you have a Mac signed into your Apple ID, its own call-history database is the easiest source for calls, the Phone app's visible list being short and rolling — and keep a simple log of anything that fits neither. Ask your attorney what your court expects before the hearing, not at it.

This is general information, not legal advice — rules vary by state and by judge, and your attorney knows your courtroom.

FAQ

Can a judge order me to use OurFamilyWizard?

Generally yes. Family courts have broad authority over how parents communicate about their children, and courts in many states will require a specific platform when they find it serves the child and both parents can reasonably afford it. Practice varies by state and by judge. Once an order exists, not using the app can be raised as a violation. If cost is the issue, tell the court or apply for a fee waiver rather than ignoring the order.

What if OurFamilyWizard isn't in my court order?

Then you're not required to use it. Read the whole order first, because some require "a co-parenting communication app" without naming one. If there is no app clause, you can decline your co-parent's request — in writing, with a reason — but keep your own records, because if they file a motion, the judge decides.

Is OurFamilyWizard free?

No. There is no free plan. As of September 2026 its pricing page lists an entry plan at $110 per year, Essentials at $149.99 per year, and Premium at $216 per year, each per parent and each billed annually. A fee waiver is available to parents who qualify — generally those on public assistance, represented by legal aid, or with a letter from a domestic-violence advocate. Check its pricing and fee-waiver pages for current terms.

Do both parents have to pay for OurFamilyWizard?

Each parent needs a separate account with its own subscription, so a household pays for two. Who pays is set by the order — a common formulation has each parent cover their own fee or apply for a waiver, though some orders split it differently or assign both accounts to one parent. Orders vary, so read yours, and if it is silent, ask rather than assume.

Can I switch to TalkingParents or AppClose if OurFamilyWizard was ordered?

Not on your own. If the order names OurFamilyWizard, switching without a modification risks being treated as non-compliance, even if the alternative is cheaper. Both parents can sign a stipulation changing the platform and submit it to the judge, or one parent can file a motion to modify. If the order only requires "a co-parenting app," you may have more room — read the exact wording and confirm with your attorney.

Do my old text messages still count if the court ordered an app?

Yes. The order changes how you communicate going forward; it doesn't erase what happened before. Texts, iMessages, and call history from before the order are still evidence you can offer, subject to your court's rules. Preserve them now: a local backup captures the message database, and a Mac signed into your Apple ID holds the call history directly. Apple lists call history among the categories recent iOS versions write only to encrypted backups, so tick "Encrypt local backup" if you want the call log too — the browser app opens an encrypted backup with that password, on your own computer.